The "pursuit of happiness" is enshrined in the fabric of our society, a promise of fulfillment that often feels elusive. Yet, as I reflect, I find myself drawn not to happiness but to *joy*—a word I choose deliberately. Joy, I believe, is tied to meaning, to impact. It is deeper, more enduring, and rooted in the sense of purpose we cultivate in our lives.
Suffering, then, is not the antithesis of joy but its gateway. When life settles into routine—when nothing changes, and all is predictable—we often lose sight of our impact, of the meaning we derive from our actions. Discontent creeps in, not because of failure or calamity, but because stagnation starves us of the vitality that comes from meaningful engagement. This discontent isn’t confined to those who actively sabotage stability; in truth, we all do it, consciously or unconsciously. If we don't, perhaps it’s because fear of change holds us back rather than any real contentment.
It is only when we confront suffering—when we understand our impact and accept it—that life begins to make sense, as absurd as it may seem. I think of the Japanese film *A Perfect Day*, which follows a middle-aged toilet cleaner. His work is humble, even mundane, yet he approaches it with care, attention to detail, and a sense of service. He has his books, his music, his routine, and yes, he finds contentment in these things. But *joy*—true joy—comes in fleeting, profound moments of connection with others. It is in his simple interactions, his engagement with the living, that he finds meaning. Through these quiet, seemingly insignificant exchanges, he transforms his suffering into a vessel for something greater.
This, perhaps, is the crux: the acceptance of suffering as a natural part of existence, not something to be avoided but embraced. Suffering, in its way, reorients us, reconnects us to our sense of purpose, to our reason for being. Without this purpose, happiness remains hollow, a fleeting pursuit rather than a state of fulfillment. Without meaning, we drift, and in our search for it, we often self-sabotage—not out of malice but from a subconscious yearning to realign with what truly matters.
And at the heart of all this—meaning, joy, suffering, and purpose—is love. Without love, all of it is meaningless. Love, not just romantic but in its broadest sense—a connection to others, to life, to the world—is the foundation of joy. Without it, happiness becomes a fleeting illusion, and suffering remains just that: pain without purpose.
Perhaps we chase happiness when what we really seek is meaning, and we resist suffering when it is the very thing that teaches us how to live. Joy lies in embracing both, in finding love and meaning even in the mundane, and in recognizing that the pursuit of impact, of purpose, is what makes life not only bearable but beautiful. - Thank you for writing. Happy Thanksgiving
